The Infamous EZT: Sex, Metal and Metallica Hate
PitGoddess - Hails to the mighty EZT! I hope I find you well today. How are you?
Sir Nekro Cuntsplitter - According to my therapist, I am prone to violent outburts, and have a messiah complex, as well as a perverse obsession with feline sodomy.
Black Wydow - Broke from all the lawsuits caused by Sir Nekro's cat rape fetish.
PG - Alright, let's get straight into it. What does EZT bring to the scene?
SNC - Rotten fish, badly produced cd-rs, arrogance, obnoxiousness and fine polka music.
BW - cheesy costumes, paper machete nuns, 6' Oompa Loompas, Satanic Rabbits, etc
PG - The current administration is doing a bang up job, don't you think? What would you do if you were president...or world dominator?
SNC - What do you mean...if?
BW - Does that idiot Bush still think he's in charge?
SNC - Remember..the last time people followed a Bush into a desert, they were lost for 40 years...
BW - Maybe we should send OJ to find Bin Ladin...
PG - For all the local Tampa Bay metalheads, is there any possibility of the Splattergod Record store coming back? Why?
SNC - Possibly.... still waiting on my lotto numbers to come up..
BW - That's the goal... depends on local support...and want
PG - Do you see EZT ever selling tons of cds and touring the world? How about a Middle Eastern tour to start? :D
SNC - I'm still waiting to sell one cd...
BW - But we sold out of our shirts...
SNC - Yeah, but that's because it had Pussymaggot's mom, naked, on them..
BW - Pussymaggot sucks....he's joined a christian boyband, The Alter Boyz
SNC - Damn, our band is filled with sell-outs and losers...
BW - Yeah...but at least we are better than Metallica...
PG - What sort of rituals does an EZT show consist of? When will there be another EZT show?
BW - Noise, filth, obscenities, blasphemies, cops, booze, broken stuff, etc.
SNC - and lots and lots of lime jello...
PG - What changes have you seen since you joined the scene? What changes have you seen since you left?
SNC - Never left...just keeping a lower profile, right now...
BW - Took some time off...
SNC - After 20+ years, I needed a breather...I was born in 1966, so I'm as old as metal and the Church of Satan...so I've seen a lot. Saw Avatar (Savatage's 1st gig at Busch Gardens, saw Amon, Xecutioner, Manntis, etc...the early days.
PG - Did you actually bang your neighbor's cat? What was the expression on its face?
SNC - I've penetrated a lot of kitties in my time...the expression is always the same: Blissful Satisfaction...
BW - Me-Owwww! :)
PG - If there was one band you could absolutely decimate, who would it be and why?
BW - Someone's baiting you...
SNC - Like there's any question about what band I hate more than any other...
BW - Should I answer....?
SNC - No, fuck it. Let them guess.
BW - Hard to narrow down?
SNC - Not really. It's just that I did destroy them...you don't fuck with EZT.
BW - Damn skippy!
PG - Thanks for spending some of your time with me. Anything else you'd like to add?
BW - Thanks for the interview and the nude picture of Bea Arthur. It's swell. My mom digs it too. Makes her hot. By the way, we adopted a cat and named it "Tool"..not that it has anything to do with this question, but I don't care.
SNC - I wanted to name it Lars..but it wasn't stupid enough to qualify...
Oh yeah...buy our shit, already! You cheap fucks!
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